Wednesday, January 25, 2006

If there was no Winter there will be no Spring to look forward to

Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work. Repeat till the page is full.

[Inspired of course from Humbert Humbert: ‘Lolita, Lolita, Lolita, Lolita, Lolita, Lolita, Lolita, Lolita. Repeat till the page is full’.]

How come when he said it, it was so full of all breathless, visceral pain and sour-sweetness of yearning? My version sounds like the hoarse rattling of a battered old car that refuses to start?

Maybe because work weighs my shoulder down, a straggling millstone. It's got a life of its own I tell you, these drafts that I am working on. Every morning when I wake up, they would have readjusted themselves to suit strange whims.

Fancy that.

Over the weekend, 2 very different movies. Woody Allen convinced me that Luck plays a bigger role in peoples lives than they care to admit.Matchpoint had a noir-ish quality that surprisingly sucks you in. Dark passions, a very hot Scarlett Johansen and big doses of luck.

Brokeback Mountain , a haunting lyrical beauty that took my breath away. How many of us find a love that fits like a snug glove and becomes an imperceptible part of ourselves? Ennis and Jack had that.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Here's to all things Fabulous

Over two weeks into the new year. Ah, I haven’t posted at all since.

Yes, it has been a frantic few weeks. Work took on gargantuan proportions. I have a breather now but next week its back to the grind stone. And what of 2005, that sweet-sad, chest-gripping, strange sort of feeling year? (okay, okay I stole that line from Murakami).

It whizzed past without a backward glance I must say. I did manage a small pocket of time to do my annual stock-take. Some highs, some lows and many days of frustrated struggle (mainly work related). I have only now gingerly opened 2006 and am planning to delve deep and hard and enjoy what the year has in store. It may throw good things and un-good but I am ready. As 30 should be.

Ah, yes. I turned 30. With quiet contentment.

We ran away from London, deep into the Welsh country for a few days. M took me for a swanky dinner, with scattered paper stars and moons on the table overlooking a bay. As we linked fingers, I watched the dark waves dance the night away. I am glad. To leave behind the madness of the 20s. There is of course the rose-tinted nostalgia that accompanies reminiscence of this kind. The 20s were filled with all the mayhem, anguish, delight and sheer rush of college, work, relationships and what not.

When I was 18, I sat and wrote a list of all the things that I planned to achieve by the time 30 rolled by. I opened the tattered, yellowed paper that I have been carrying all these years:

I have since done some of those things. Some I haven’t and some are plainly, no longer important. But as the sea and sky merged into a curtain of inky peacefulness, I knew that there is much to celebrate.

So much to be thankful for. Companied with all the love and good wishes of family and friends. Who are with me in love, play and work. Cheering me, de-stressing me, being goofy with me and loving me despite.

So much to look forward to. Some travel awaits, some get-aways, meeting new people and the many parties to be had in our love-filled new home.

So much to learn. From the books that gleam wickedly on the library shelves. From the experiences of yore. From the wisdom of my parents. From friends. New things about M that I keep discovering (for example I just found out that he knows the lyrics to really random songs).

So much to cherish. The past that colours the present. Once upon a time foibles. Halcyon girlhood. The choices I made (or maybe think I did) sum up what I am today.

So much to give. To send lots of sunshine to friends and family.To share knowledge with my students, to exchange ideas and thoughts.

One thing to pray for (that’s my secret).

I can sense it in my bones that the 30s are going to be fabulous.

So, here’s to 30 and Possibilities. Blessings of great magnitude. Swirls of grace and beauty. The goodness of people. The kindness of thoughts. The joy of oneness. Here’s to shimmering dreams unfurling, showers of joy, laughter and magic, pure and simple.

It’s going be great. Fabulous 30.

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