Friday, August 05, 2005

Happiness is A Daily Decision

It is so easy to lapse into depression. To let self degenerate in a morass of self-pity and think that the whole world is crumbling. That is really the easiest thing.

It's when I see people still smiling and finding faith in their lowest hour that I truly feel a jolt in my spine. The people of Bombay city, my heart goes out to you.

XXXX

Yesterday, 6,600 policemen prowled the London tubes. It was Thursday. I wasn't sure but I thought that the carriages were emptier than usual. Eyes darted oh-so-casually to the person sitting on the next seat. Feet shuffled. When I reached Liverpool Street, for the first time, I felt my heart twist. Clenching my knuckles, a nervous habit, I sat frozen. It may have been the most irrational thing, but for a few minutes, I just thought what if.

Finally, when I reached my stop, I gasped for air, winked at the policeman and went on my way, dissolving into routine.

4 Comments:

At 8/05/2005 02:07:00 pm, Blogger Ms.B said...

I'm guilty.

Of late (as in the past 2-3 years), there has been this great tendency to lapse into that useless state of self-pity. Why? Oh well, a multitude of reasons. Life has been nothing short of a roller coaster in a tornado these past few years. That often led me to look at my life in a sad way, thinking that no one else could suffer a fate as tragic as I. But now, I make it a CONSCIOUS effort to see what other people go through and how, despite the impossibilies of their lives, they STILL manage to smile and pull through. I go crimson as I witness or think of these people, be they poor, hungry orphans, or those who have suffered immensely as a result of nature's fury, or victims of war, .. and then I remind myself to thank God, for making my life so, so much simpler and to pray that there will be a better place for those who suffer now, in the next life. I know there will be. :)

Sorrylah dear .. am suffering from verbal diarrhoea at the moment. :p

 
At 8/05/2005 03:47:00 pm, Blogger Kak Teh said...

sunshine, i knew it was Thursday because, its an early start for me, i knew it was thursday cos, we must not forget to take the rubbish out for Friday and I knew it was Thursday because wednesday was so lousy, i couldnt wait for another day to come. As for the police? I looked uo from my syaer and there were two heft ones standing near the door. I decided against winking at them.
btw, I just got back from No: 10 and who was behind me..a Chakrabarthi ...of course the PM recognised her and looked past me...kak teh who?

 
At 8/05/2005 04:28:00 pm, Blogger Jane Sunshine said...

Blabs, a good rant always helps. Besides, I think you're a superstrong girl, so chin up.

Kak Teh, the immanent sense of something unpleasant in the air really makes one recoil, doesn't it? Ms Chakrabarti aside, you are our very own celebrity.

 
At 8/06/2005 12:55:00 pm, Blogger Lindsey said...

It's normal to be a bit nervous when an attack hits close to home. It's been nearly 4 years since the World Trade Center attacks and people here are still nervous. when I get on planes, I (like you) stare around me..taking in the different people. Wondering if one of them is a terrorist...
It's something that gets easier but it never totally goes away.

 

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